Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we justifying our bonuses to taxpayers?

Special bonus edition!11) Achieved bonus goal of obtaining tax money to pay for bonuses.10) Giving needy citizens rides to the unemployment office in our new Porsche (pending available seating).9) Obtaining bids from multiple vendors before using bonus money to purchase hookers and blow.8) Managed annual salary so poorly, need a bonus to bail us out.7) Need additional funds to pay for our guillotine insurance.6) While it's right for the government to give businesses public funds, it will make Baby Jesus cry if it says how businesses should spend those funds.5) Promising to invest that bonus money in companies that will help the American economy and not those like A.I.G. 4) The same way we justified them to our shareholders...through equations that no one wants to admit they don't understand.3) Sitting back, lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, and letting the Times do our justifyin' for free.2) Hey, nobody took away George W. Bush's salary.1) "Justify"...sorry, we're not familiar with that word. We're MBAs, not English majors. Now who wants a little caviar with their fillet mignon?